Bye 2018. Hello 2019. The Year for Living.

ok so quick disclaimer, i have no idea what this is it turned from some poetry rambles about 2018, and the shit that happened to some life rant that actually made my heart sing.  it was like this message i suddenly had to say. So i wrote this at 3 am today. And ive recorded it to and put it on youtube. (Link to follow)  BUT BASICALLY ITS THIS.  Rough as shit but THERE YOU GO

2018. when i think of it all it was a shit year. after contemplation, theres a sense of frustration. because if im honest here i feel like a mug. i feel like a fool. i feel like i should have never ever trusted you. i feel like i shouldnt have done what i find hard, letting you in like i dont normally do. what was it that made me choose you. to trust. to let through, all the scars from before and from the layers of previous experiences and layers of grief. of secrets. of my past, of messed up memories. of imperfections. and then you did what you said youd never do. you made me regret trusting in you, to be there when i fell. i cant believe i listened when you said “ill be there if you need me, just yell”. it was all just words that id heard before. and now how im feeling, are feelings i didnt think id ever have again, and feelings i dont want anymore. and what hurts most is that you knew, there were times I felt like a burdeon.

that i felt guilty for just living. when it turns out i was the only one really giving. and im not saying i regret giving, because thats not true. i never regret any of the stuff i did for you. but what i do regret is being treated like a fool. and for trusting you and letting you in to my bubble after all. if i wanted to be malicious the revenge could be just so delicious because youve come to me with all the shit of the century. i could take you down in a single sentence but lucky for you that isnt me.

because if i did that it would only lead to my own self resentment. and i made a commitment. when we first built onour connection and you told me it all in absolute confidence, even things where i thought “ i dont know what to make of this” i promised it, and my word is my honour and if i turn back on that, i turn back on me and what kind of person would i then be. if i did that i would be just as bad if not worse than you. but hey me being a better and bigger person than all this is actually nothing new. i think what im actually trying to say my friend, is that today, right now is the end. and if you cant aplogise, thats fine. ive always been the one who is wise.

i dont want to bear a grudge, instead i want to spend that time spreading love. so if you cant change or realise the situation take yourself away from me, remove from the equation because youre so full of shit so full of negativity and you know what? im longer the liasion, the one whos left feeling little and im certainly no longer being the piggy in the middle.

to be or not to be is no longer the question, its to stay or not to say in contact with the ones that cause the aggravation, so much stress it makes my head a fucking mess, that im sitting at 3 am writing this to try to get it all to make sense.

my friend i am so tired of being in the thick of it. of you trying to push centre stage, of you assuming we are on the same page.

when in reality i am my own person. my own being with my own life. my own worries my own situation, and im not going to make it all a negotiation, either be in my world or not, thats cool, just please reallse its not revolving around you after all, im glad i can be there, for you when you need me to be. because i love you and that part hasnt changed. ill always be here when you need me. but i wont be used and my trust will NOT be abused.

ultimatley, what im saying is its not that im saying im not ok with you, im not saying i dont care, because i do, and im glad that im not in that place in my own head where i hate you. becase although i dont agree with some of what you say or what you do, carrying that kind of hate that kind of negativty , well it just was not good for me. it made my head and my heart way too heavy.

and i never meant for any of this to rhyme but it justed ended up being this way. which is fine. after all, this is online.

another important thing whilst this is in my head. another point before i go to bed. there are so many things that could be said life is what you make of it but dont go doing shit for the sake of it. take a seat remove yourself from the heat and save a moment to yourself to think about what youre saying and what youre doing. just take that single second to think because you could be pushing too far, to beyond the brink, of self destruction, of everything.

im not saying that its bad to be there for others. im not saying that at all. but to put yourself first at times, to take some time for you, is one of the most most important things in this life you could do. to take a moment. take a single fragment of time, to take a deep breath and enjoy lifes ride.

because in lana parrillas, words “you are where youre meant to be” even if its  not your final destination but just a step in the journey.

 

and because Grandad could be right.

when its the end, it could be it and “when youre dead youre dead”.

but then again, nik could be correct and it could be pure paradise with patrick swayzee dance lessons instead . or it could be simpley that you wish you listened more, to a small piece of simple advice, and that you wish you enjoyed every piece of your short life, the fire, the smoke, the ice.

you know now i think of it like this, we dont often realise that we re never given long enough to fully take in the things love, the people, nature, the worlds, even the things we think we hate.

theres so much we dont appreciate.

and theres so much pressure we put on ourselves, that sometimes we end up living in our self made hells. why the hell do we listen to the negative thoughts. why do we put so much focus on the pre set standards. we are who we are at the end of the day. it doesnt matter who you love, who you pray to you, whether you wear dresses or a tie, or how much is in your pocket and what brand of phone you buy.

it doesnt matter what you look like, and mate life is too short to not eat that slice of cake or to not take a chance a leap of faith, its too short to not spread love and honey its not the time or the place to discriminate or spread hate.

dont be a banter tampon dont be an arse, dont sugar coat shit and dont live life as a farce.

in a time full of politicians and wars and so much scary shit in a time many fear to walk down the street alone because they might become a target to hit.

in time full of liars and online buyers. stand up. get your voice heard. say enough is enough. even if your argument like mine has gone off topic and is a little rough, and if you have no confidence trust me i get you, my speech  impediments and my various issues got me so nervous about saying this im sat with a pocketful of tissues. i guess what im saying now, is have some self pride.

its about what you feel in side. its about what makes you you. and fuck who tries to tell you what that is or what to do. youre the only one who can decide that. and if you let others choose for you that battle will never be won. and you deserve to be youre own hero, you deserve to be number one. now im not sure about you, but i dont want to live with regrets which brings me back to my original point. with what i know COULD put you on your arse.

i COULD fight back, but it would be a pointless task, a waste of my energy, a waste of my precious time and its not worth that. its not worth that and i dont want regrets in this beautiful life of mine. so yes i was angry at the start of this. yes i was mad. but after writing all this im just glad.

im glad that 2018 did make me feel something after all.

im glad i could write this down. im glad i finally realised what i have all around. i have love and i have life and i have so much more to give. and no matter what my situation no matter what is going on im glad im able to finally move on.

life may be crazy. Life may be strange. life may be awful, good, happy, sad, amazing incredible or a range of all things. and thats ok. because im going to live in today. not going to let anyone or anything get in my way.

now youve come to the end, my friend. and the other thing you might find aside from all the rhyme, is that this isnt aimed at a specific conversation or actually come to think of it even a specific situation or a specifc person in my lifes bubble, and if you see yourself in this ive not said it to cause trouble, but if you think youre the you or maybe you realise that youre the ME in this story of what life can be.

then you just might find yourself the meaning to this riddle. i dont know about you, im no longer going to be the one whos having someone else take the ‘piddle’.

life is what you make it like i said before. and im going to make it worthwhile. im going to make my life worth living and fighting for. so thank you for taking the time to read this story, Its now almost 4 in the morning. i needed to get it off my chest and out of my head. but now its time for my bed. i love you all no matter what part you play in my life, be it big or very small. and ive made the decision not to rebuild the wall, the wall that stops people from getting to know the real me. 2019 is the new beginning to my life story.

oh and hi. im lana. the inconsiderate cripple, and no thats a scar on my chest, its not a third nipple.

Welcome to my life. Welcome to me. im going to make 2019 the best year it can bloody be.

The year we are the change we want to see.

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Hello 2019

2018 was not a good year for my blog.

Sorry about that.

I neglected you all.

but life got in the way.

2019 is here now.

AND IM BACK.

I know I know ive said that a million times but really I  AM BACK.

LETS SEE WHAT 2019 BRINGS!  (hopefully itll bring more blog posts from me)

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Letters to Natalie – 5 years.

good morning beautiful.

5 years ago today you grew your wings.

my beautiful bestfriend.

how is it 5 Years.

5.

its 5 YEARS yet somehow it feels like 5 minutes. and sometimes it feels like 5 seconds.

i dont know what it is with this year.

whether its that there have been a lot of milestone moments like me moving out, reaching 21, finally getting drunk “nat style” etc or what, but its been harder this year without you.
its like it hurts even more this year.

5 years seems like forever when written down. but its like ive blinked and 5 years have passed.

i know i do an essay of a post each year. but the thing is i write it because in the words of my team, writing is my version of crying. its my way of getting it out. and i write to You every day. which funnily enough was kind of what YOU told me to do. i think its become my way of grieving. maybe one day ill share them. but for now theyre just there. each starting with Dear Natalie. 5 years worth of dear natalies.

5 years without your laughter and your smile. but thankfully even after 5 years i still can hear it in my head. i can still hear you laughing. talking. singing. shouting. swearing and i can still hear you go “ FOR FUCKS SAKE DONT BE SO BLOODY AWKWARD ITS ME YOURE TALKING TO” 😂😂😂.

5 years without holding your hand and me coming out with something which really, could have resembled a beautifully worded quote about the world and could have gone down in history books as a beautiful quote and moment if you hadnt have laughed at me and said “what a load of bollocks. youre such an old lady. your body may be 16 but your hearts in its 30s your brains…. in the gutter, no i mean its in its 50s and your soul is 100. but thats ok because i love you and your my lanaloo. even though your strange. and you need to live a little and stop talking all physical wiggle ical”. (she meant philosophical, yes im aware i spelt that wrong).

its 5 years since that day when you were telling me about whats in Woowoos, and when i called it a woot toot you laughed and said what the fuck was that, french?

5 years since we last said see you later.

and even now 5 years on i still go to text you each morning. “good morning beautiful.”

i know all the people in my life that grew their wings, especially this year are with you. and hugging you for me. and probably helping you to wreck the joint. partying. dancing. drinking. and I REALLY hope youve got to meet patrick swayzee. because i re read that the other day and now my not so innocent brain finally realised what you said 😂😂😂.

i hope youre proud of me, ive ACTUALLY been drunk a few times this year like you tried to convince me to because “its good for your soul and itll be funny for me”.

im keeping all the promises. and im starting to do stuff from the list.

ill try and stop being a silly fucker for the rest of today and i think i need to stop typing now so ill end this one with.

i miss you.

thank you. for everything. but mainly being my bestfriend even in the short time we had.

i love you forever and for always, more and most (and i would do anything to hear you say “NO. I LOVE YOU MORE AND MOST THANK YOU VERY MUCH.” one last time)

see you later NatNat. i should probably try and get some sleep. going to your lock later.

goodnight sleep tight

your lanaloo.

 

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What they don’t tell you about Grief.

What they don’t tell you about grief.

They don’t tell you a lot about grief.

they don’t tell you that in  every whisper of the wind you hear it all ten times louder because you desperately want it to be the ones you lost talking to you, sending you a message.

they tell you you’ll have good days and bad days.

but it’s not like that.

it’s more good moments and bad moments on numb days.

they don’t tell you those bad moments are like waves of coldness, and not just the coldness of a winters morn, but the coldness that burns.

the coldness and the burns of ice that causes unimaginable pain that reaches the deepest depths of your existence.

They don’t tell you that grief can sit on your shoulders, weighing you down for years until you finally acknowledge it.  until you finally crack under the pressure and the shear burden that grief can give you.

They don’t tell you about the guilt. The guilt that you are still here and they’re not. The guilt you feel when you smile or laugh. The guilt you feel at the most unexpected things. The guilt you can feel when you’re happy. The guilt you can feel when you’re upset. The guilt you feel when you know that the one you love wouldn’t WANT you to be upset.

what they do tell you about grief is that it gets easier that you’ll get over it eventually.

but i’m yet to see how.

you may get better at living with it, may be better at managing the pain it brings.

but I don’t think losing the ones you love is something you can ever “get over”.

what they don’t tell you about grief is how hard it is. Or if they do say its hard they say its Hard but…   well there are no buts. it bloody hurts and its bloody hard.

they don’t tell you how some days it’s hard to even open your eyes because the griefs presence starts to sting as soon as you wake you have to face another day without them here again.

what they don’t tell you is that sometimes just sometimes for the briefest of moments you’ll forget that they left.

Something will happen, you’ll go to laugh or you’ll go to call them or you’ll turn your head expecting them to be next to you and then you remember again.

they don’t tell you how painful that is.

How soul-destroying it is to have that split second of bliss like you’re in an alternative universe in which they haven’t left you and they are there in the moment with you.

what they don’t tell you about grief is how the smallest most silliest thing can turn your good moment and mood sour again.

An advert on TV, a song in a supermarket, a smell, or even a sip of your tea. a small thing that brings a memory back or sometimes not even a memory, it’s just a real life moment which makes you suddenly realise it all over again.

you’re here and they are not.

And they don’t tell you that about grief.

But the biggest thing they don’t tell you about grief is that is no one way to grieve.

they don’t tell you how that grief can is an all-consuming state and a distant memory all at the same time.

you have moments where you are fully rocked to the core with grief, and moments of unstable clarity where you think you have control again of it all but really your grief has lulled you in to a false sense of security because BANG and your back to being cocooned in it all once more.

and what they certainly don’t tell you is this.

it’s OK. it’s ok that you’re not ok. it’s ok if the only thing you did today was exist. and it’s equally ok if you are living your life to the full and doing “ok”.

Its ok if it take years to cry. If you take years to ‘visibly’ grief.

it’s ok that grief is something you will live with forever.

More than anything, they don’t tell you that you have to grieve your way.

they SHOULD tell you that grief is a demon that you will have to find your own way of dealing with.

you’ll have your own battle with it, and only you will truly know which paths to take.

they SHOULD tell you that it’s ok to cry and it’s ok if you DONT or CANT cry.

it’s ok if you scream and it’s ok if you sing.

It’s important to talk about it, but its ok to take your time doing so.

it’s ok to laugh.

and it’s ok to ‘move on’.

Its important more than anything else to CARRY on.

even though you might have grief kick you in the heart at times for trying to get through life, just go one foot in front on the other.

just  take it one moment at a time, one single breath at a time and it will be ok.

just keep loving. loving yourself, loving everyone in your life (new and old) and keep living.

loving living and breathing.

and the grief will be there, of course it will.

but you’re not alone and we can do this together.

different pieces to different puzzles but all playing the same game.

I can’t promise that grief will go away because I don’t think it will. But I can promise you I’m here for you.

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Exploring Faith #2 Tethers.

so if you haven’t read the first post – have a read here.

NOTE:  I have full permission from mel, dusty, the vicar clifford, and all involved to talk about this on my blog.

This post is about Tethers.

‘Tethers?! What in the world is tethers and what has it got to do with exploring faith’ I hear you scream?

Well.

In that first post, I spoke about the fact I had a discussion in a church the other day where the Vicar (STILL Not sure if he was a vicar, as When I spoke to him on the phone this morning he said he didnt mind what i called him on my blog, I can just call him Clifford if I wish and I have his full permission to talk about what we spoke about- so I still dont know what his title is).

The reason for going to his church was that My Friends Mel and Dusty (his names doug, but i call him Dusty) are having their 4 children christened, and have asked me to be godmother to all 4 children.

We attended the church to discuss the christening – a meeting that originally was meant to just be for Mel and Dusty, but unfortunately he wasn’t well enough to attend, so  I attended instead.

A meeting which was meant to be about the kids being christened turned in to a discussion between us all about our own faiths  and about what it meant to be religious.

We spent an hour talking about this and it fascinated me. Clifford didnt try and answer impossible questions, he didnt try and force his religious views on us like i had experienced a few times before, he just spoke to us about his own beliefs and asked about ours.

Then we eventually got around to talking about the kids and about the 9 godparents she and dusty have chosen (and yes mel did make me cry when she explained to Clifford why she wanted me to be a godmother to her 4 children).

She then happened to say that her brother in law wasnt happy about not being a Godparent. But she didnt want their siblings  to be godparents as they were already important enough as aunt and uncle.

He then said he completley agrees.

Now before I go on, He had  said at the start of the meeting that some people say he is a controversial vicar. that he isnt your “Normal” man of cloth.

And this was the point I realised he was right BUT that i loved him all the more for it.

He said he agrees and to think of it like this.

He used mels eldest son as an example.

He said to think of said son as stood with one balloon in his hand for every person in his life.

Then to add another balloon for every tether – a tether being another title. so his grandmother isnt just a person in his life, shes his grandmother so thats two tethers. His uncle is his uncle, so thats two. ETC ETC.

Then he said “so lana is your bestfriend. She has one tether for being your best friend, and another for being his godmother. Thats two tethers. If you made Doug’s Brother a godfather, he would then have 3 tethers,  thats then unbalanced. Its too many balloons. Too much energy if you like. he’ll fly away or most likely in context to the situation the child will be put in the middle of a family battle. Also if you have dougs older brother as a godfather, you would then feel like you have to have his younger brother, and his sister and maybe even their spouses, and your siblings too. Thats then 10 other people with more tethers. Although its a nice sentiment, they already have a role. I see so many families come back to talk and pray for family disputes, and many times its because the balance, the number of tethers are too many. Keep it to unroled family members and friends. thats the key here. Its all love and its all support and above all else its the beginning of the childs journey in their faith. It should not be about who is a godmother or not. it should be about creating a wider support system for that child to help it along its journey. I often actually encourage people to chose friends and alternative family members to siblings if possible. as it can be very complicated.”

And I’m not saying I 100% understood or agreed in everything he said, but It did make sense with me about balancing the tethers. Balancing the roles out.

I looked at my own godparents and if you dont know me personally, my 6 godparents were 6 of  my parents closest friends.  unfortunately circumstances mean that I dont really see 2 of my godparents who moved away, and one woman I have no memory of whatsover, but I have a really good relationship with my godfather Rob (aka my uncle rob absolute legend, and his wife although not officially my godmother because they god married years later, i always include in saying shes my unofficial godmother  – aka my auntie Sarah) and my other 2 godparents , my lovely godmother Rita and godfather Paul (aka auntie rita and uncle paul) sadly   passed away but I have a very good relationship with their daughter, who I call my auntie sue, and i have spoken about before on here when she got married, and ofcourse their grandaughter is Demi, my Rolo (Again have included her before too 😉 )

Although they have become a part of my family, none of the 6 are actually relatives.

And actually im glad in a way. Because like my parents have said before, and like the vicar Clifford said above, my aunts my uncles etc already are my aunts and uncles.

They already have titles and roles.

Where as having my parents friends meant I GAINED aunts and uncles.

It really did build a support, build another part of my family.

And it makes more sense to me the older I’m getting.

The tethers thing really does resonate with me.

And seriously makes me think for the future and If/when  I have children and have them christened, would I WANT siblings to be godparents? i’d need a conversation with my partner obviously, but i think I would lean towards more not. They already have titles and a role.

But again, it really did make me think about what getting christened itself actually means and what being a godparent means. Which is something I want to talk about next time.

Thats it for tonight as my eyes hurt and my fingers are achey.

Lana

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Exploring Faith #1 – An Introduction.

Controversial Topic I know but I want to do a series about Exploring Faith.

One of the questions I’m asked most is What Religion do I follow/Am I religious?

When I think about it its a question that I’ve been asked not just online but even day to day in forms etc. And the answer is something I think I’m still discovering.

I currently like to call myself an Explorer of Faith.

A brief history to me, is that I was christened, Church of England, at about 5 months old.

I have 6 godparents – not sure why I think stating the number relevant. i think its because some people find it odd i have more than 3. I had a discussion in a church the other day where the Vicar (? Not sure if he was a vicar, a priest or what his title was but for the sake of this I’ll call him a vicar and hope I dont offend him or anyone else) had said that he had recently done a christening where the baby had 13 godparents, so all those that think my parents chose too many, there are people with more than double that!  – He actually really inspired me and the conversation is something I want to do a whole other post on so look out for that.

My family are not overly religious, We are not really church goers.

I did used to belong to a children’s sunday school type thing that was linked to the dancing group I used to attend. Going there was quite cool to me. I still remember some of the songs we would sing, one about Jesus being our friend sticks in my mind like an ear worm and I still, way over a decade on, find myself singing it to myself sometimes.

At secondary school religion was something that really did intrigue  me. I used to love RE lessons, and used to belong to a thing called quest (which was linked to the light house project) , which was a religious lunch time club. That was something that fascinated me. Even if I didnt want to admit it at the time.

I also, was a member of the girl guides, and attended church parade.

Over the years, I’ve kind of not really questioned or explored faith for ME.

I’ve not really asked myself the question. Am I religious? What DO I believe in?

I’ve not really thought about what religion and what being religious means to me.

I read a book fairly recently written by someone who worked with my dad, and I really think that after reading that, and meeting Carl myself, it was the first time I’ve really thought about religion and what it means to me. (I’ll do a post about this bloke and his book soon so look out for that)

I have no idea what I’m going to find on this journey.

For all I know, I could get to the end of this series of posts realising that I dont even feel I’m a believer, which is perfectly okay if I’m not. Its perfectly okay if I find out that I am.

I just want to explore it. And see where I end up.

But as so many people seem interested, and I couldnt really find much about it on the internet. it being EXPLORING faith itself, it seems to be very one sided on the blogs I did come across, and it tends to be stereotypically  preachy,  which is fine because the blogs are about someones journey so it is personal to them and its about THEIR OWN experiences.

But I want to take you on MY Journey, And I want to  open up a discussion as I do so, I dont want to preach at you, especially when  at this moment I’m not sure what I would  even preach.

The things I’ve kind of planned to cover already include The conversation in the church i had recently and being a godparent and what that means to me, My Christening and my own godparents, questioning faith after loss, heaven/hell/afterlife, being angry and struggling to believe, Carls Book, and theres a LOT Of other stuff I want to cover but if you want to ask me anything  or think I should look at  covering a specific thing please please please do, because lets face it, its me, ill be winging it haha!

If this isnt something you want to read, I have other content that I will be posting too, but this is a journey i’m hoping you might join me on.

I have a feeling it’ll be an interesting one.

Lana x

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Lets talk: Incontinence.

My entire life I’ve had a problem with peeing myself. I NEVER peed in a bath not even as a toddler. I think that now, I just have a real issue with peeing anywhere bar a toilet- so I HATE when I have to use a bedpan in hospital or a catheter or even a commode Peeing in Priscilla ( my commode) i have back at mums affected me more than I ever really discussed and I have no real way of explaining why.

2015, when my “Episodes”  started to worsen, I started to have incontinence. I peed myself more than once. A long story short my confidence went almost completely, so my mum brought me some tena lady pants. At the time I felt so embarrassed. I didn’t want anyone to know. I wear incontinence pants every day. Its not always Tena ladies even though they are my favourite brand I also use depends and I also like some other brands but this isnt a review or comparison post, though that’s coming soon.

I remember feeling so ashamed of myself. Until eventually after talking to some very special people. I realised that actually, it was nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about.  I did a post about tena ladies and a bit about my journey with peeing myself 2 years ago now, and its my most popular post. since that post I get emails every single day from people like me, who have a form of incontinence, reaching out to get advice on different types or brands of incontinence pads, or sometimes its just needing to talk to someone who gets it.

I’m not ashamed of myself anymore. With all i’ve been through these past few years, I think I lost my dignity too many times that I dont give a Shite ( shite is another thing I’ll be talking about further down the post ).

Incontinence. Its often considered a dirty word. A taboo subject. something for behind closed doors or whispered conversations.

But WHY?

WHY is it something to be ashamed of?

I watched loose women a little while ago and they were talking about stree incontinence. Which isnt what I have, but the GORGEOUS kaye adams (i am like one of her and Nadia Sawalhas biggest fans if you didnt know)  said about people having issues with the word Incontinence, that its a word that people dont like, and that we should call it a wee problem. Which I actually love. Its the ultimate pun. “A wee problem”

But the thing is she is so true. People hate the word incontinence. its whispered. Even people that i love dearly in my life SSSH me if i start talking about incontinence in public. Or they tell me to save it for private conversations behind closed doors. But WHY?

WHY is incontinence a dirty word? WHY is it a topic only for whispered conversation?

YES ok its embarrassing at times if I come back round from an episode and I’ve peed or shat myself.

Because, YES, sometimes inconitence isnt pee. It can be poop too. Or both. And yes i have experienced this too. I’ve had a bad episode and woken up in my own shite and pee. Wearing the inco pants helps more than i  can explain. it not only helps to contain it but it also means if it im in public im normally not as badly covered as i would be without it.

Inco pads are also handy to sit on in cars chairs and to put under the bed sheets.

Im getting annoyed writing this post.

Because its making me think of all the nastyness that ive had about my incontinence from other people. And how many people contact me and tell me about how people have treated them regarding this issue. Its disgusting.

My incontinence ,its out of my control.

Its not my fault. And yet sometimes when I’m talking about it  a few people will roll their eyes or ssh me, they make me feel like it IS my fault. Like i should be ashamed of myself for it happening and even more ashamed of myself for talking about it.

IT NEEDS TO BE TALKED ABOUT.

Its more common than people think.
Im not a convicted criminal discussing my crimes.

IM JUST A WOMAN WITH INCONTINENCE SO WHY ARE YOU SSHING ME WHEN I TALK ABOUT IT!

I genuinely want to know, WHY is incontinence taboo? WHY is it such a bad word?!

So please. Email or Comment if you have an answer

and please continue to email and get in touch if you need to talk about anything with someone who gets it. Especially if its about Peeing yourself. Because mate do I know what its like.

Over and Out  TICers

 

Lana

 

 

 

 

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