A realisation…

So – You know when I said I hadn’t cried yet… Well thats just changed. As I sit on the number 23 bus, listening to Mary by the Scissor Sisters- I’m crying. I know, I was shocked too.
It’s just hit me that when I go home today, Darcy won’t be there to greet me.
But that’s not the  only reason behind my sudden outburst of emotion.
As I sat talking to my teacher and my tutor today, I could feel myself getting more and more red as the conversation progressed, and I was so relieved when KLM said She had to go, as it meant I could pull myself together, and hope They don’t notice!
Well, I think K noticed, (hence I’ve sent her a link to this as an explanation.)

They complemented me and I couldn’t  handle it. I thought I was going to burst into tears there and then. Fortunatley, I laughed it all off and made a joke of it all by saying “my head will get bigger in a minute”.

I kept it together until I got to the traffic lights, and I could feel myself going.

Then when I was crying, I felt bad because I wasn’t crying just about the dog, I was Crying about everything.
But then at the same point. It was me letting go of everything that happened this week; of all the college dramas, the dog dying, of all the dramas in between.

After time, the darcy situation will be easier, I know.
And the college stuff will be sorted out on monday, and I know it will all be okay- because I have the best college, the best tutor, the best teachers, the best support.

Everything else…? Well it will be alright eventually…. As Nat would’ve said “It’ll be okay in the end- if its not okay, its not the end!”

I’m off to a decades themed party tomorrow – so look out for the pictures!

Before I end this post, I just want to thank KLM, for being utterly amazing as per, and for helping me with stuff, and for listening. – Glad you didn’t jinx me this time 😉

Right I’m out!
Love you all,
LanaLoo

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About The Inconsiderate Cripple

Hi there, I'm the inconsiderate cripple. Welcome to the world through my eyes. I'm Lana, a 20 year old crazy person with chronic illness/disability living for the moment. my blogs a bit weird, a bit 'out there' and a bit well... me. Welcome and Hopefully - You'll stay with me on this journey!
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