Why I’ve Been Quiet

I can’t sleep so I thought I’d do an Update Post!

So, If you’ve got me on facebook, You’ll know that these past few weeks have been VERY eventful.

On the 28th of June I had a bit of a drama in tesco. I had multiple blackouts with abdo pain, chest pain and I just didnt feel “right” if that makes sense. Anyway, long story short I was taken to east surrey Via ambulance from tesco. Gave everyone, my parents, fellow shoppers and the staff, a fright!
I was discharged after pain meds were given and “appt advice” was given…

Then, I spent the next week recovering from that drama…

And the next monday I went to college.
All was okay.
I wasn’t 100% in my english class (Karens Lesson) so I sat outside for a bit, but other than that- I was alright!
Then I got home…. And BLACKED OUT INTO OUR WHEELIE BINS. Again, long story short the bins crushed me. And I ended up taking myself to crawley hospital on crutches to sort out my ankle ( that’s too complicated to go into on this post so that’s all you need to know haha!)

Had the next day (Tuesday 7th July)  off college to “rest”. Although anyone who knows me knows that I do NOT do resting. I spent the day doing college work and writing more of my book!  But I did try to “chill” like the doctor said. Mum came home and we got LexiLoops to stay for her sleepover  as  planned (we organised this in advance and I was feeling okay, so We carried on!)…
Isn’t she beautiful!

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So anyway, Mum went to sort out the cats at Uli’s. And it was just me and the dog. I sat on the stairs chilling as Lex was acting funny. Then all of a sudden, she pushed her way passed me up the stairs and got behind my back, pushing me off the stairs! She got me on the floor, I had a warning pain, which lead to a bog standard uneventful blackout, came back round, lex was licking my face,  all was normal, and I got up and carried on as normal.
Mum came back, I told her what happened and she gave lex a BIG hug!

Then at around 2115ish, I was in the Dining Room on the computer, Lex and Mum were chilling in the living room…
All of a sudden, Lexi started barking and properly getting in mums face, and then ran to where I was, and barked at me and ran back to mum.
With what happened earlier in the evening in my mind, I took myself round to mum and lex, and sat on the floor, just by the solid wooden cupboards.
Lexi then came bounding over, and took my wrist in her mouth, trying to drag me on the floor to the other side of the room. When this didnt work she started to bite me and scratch at me.
I couldn’t work out why she was doing this as I was feeling fine.
So I asked mum to take lexi out because I just couldnt cope with her being like that when I didn’t know why.

The next bits a bit of a blur.
One moment I was sitting on the sofa. The next I was on the floor with my trapped between the solid wooden cupboards and our sofa, feeling like my body had been hit by a truck or something dramatic, like I had been torn into seperate parts. My head felt like it was on fire and my abdo pain had come back. I was confused. I knew it wasn’t a normal blackout.

But the most upsetting part of it all was that I had pee’d myself. I’ve never done that with all of this before.

I also realised my head felt like it had been hit, I was very distressed and not myself at all.

I sat there, in tears, not knowing what was going on, thinking “what the f*ck was that, that can’t have been a blackout”.
I couldn’t even get myself up off the floor.
I was just sitting in my own urine.

I remember trying to ring mums phone but she had left it here.

She came back with lex to find me on the floor, crying my eyes out.

Lexi was again all over me, trying to stop me from crying. She really is one of the sweetest dogs…

Anyway, mum took Lexi home, and when she came back, she kept asking me what I wanted her to do.
She kept saying to me “Lana I wish you didn’t tell me to leave the house with Lexi!’
I kept apologising to her. I kept saying “I don’t know anymore”.
The tears kept coming.
I was in a right state.

Mum decided to Call Mandy to   sit me whilst mum called the ambulance.

So my poor Mandymoo sat  next to a rather un- lanaloolike me, whilst mum spoke to the 999 person on the phone and tried to explain stuff, all whilst sorting out my stuff to take with us.

I remember just sitting there in my own pee, thinking “I don’t know how much more I can cope with anymore”.
Then I looked up and spotted Our shelf which has a copy of  Natalie’s order of service on it.
I saw Nat’s face and then I kind of snapped out of that whole, “I hate my life” thing.
I then however just wanted Nat. I just wanted her back again. I wanted To be able to have her telling me it was all going to be okay.
I know It’s stupid of me.
I had my mum and mandy.
But at that moment… I just really really missed her.

Anyway a very long story short, at this point I was irritable, argumentative, confused. I couldn’t say my own name properly and It took me like forever to recall my date of birth.

I then argued over the paramedic bloke telling me my blood sugar levels were at 3.2 so waay too low (esp as I hadn’t long eaten my dinner!) And he told me I needed to eat biscuits.
Big no no for me then, as I had already eaten and didn’t want to eat again.

So then the ambulance crew themselves turned up and took me to ESH.

I cannot fault the Paramedic Team that night (Daren, Roger and Aleks). They were amazing.
Oddly enough Roger also knew My Uncle. So we had a conversation there (Although I don’t remember much! BUT I DO KNOW HIS NICKNAME NOW HAHAHAHA!)
From here is a bit blury in places.

Fast forward to 0430 and were discharged with pain relief… And told that I was right – it wasn’t a blackout…
But in fact a seizure. And it’s now being called A “non-epileptic Grand Mal”, and shall be remained that until we are told otherwise!

Now, over a week later, and I’ve had quite a Few Seizures.
None where I’ve pee’d myself again, but I have bitten myself a few times (and not just bitten my tongue, but also my wrist, and at 0015 today (19th July) I seemed to have  bitten my hand!)  They’ve been witnessed my a few people now too.

I can now tell the difference between my “normal” blackouts and my new seizures.

I can’t explain it. But when I come round from a seizure, I feel different.

Like at 0012ish I had a feeling like my head was being crushed, just like the other day when I seizured in the street. So I got myself off my bed and onto my floor, the next thing I know, I’ve come back round with my shoulder out of place, my mouth clamped down onto my hand, and my knees and ankles in a bit of a pickle. I was in a bit of a funny position.
And most of all, I felt like I had been ripped apart.

My health in general isn’t fab at the moment.

My episodes, Zone outs and “conscious blackouts” are worse. As are my fibro pain, EDS stuff and My Tummy problems!

But weirdly enough, I feel like I’ve found my mojo again!

I feel like me again. LanaLoo is back.
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A lot has also happened on a very personal note. I’m no longer with Robin which is something I’m not going into on here.
I also have finished college until september! (Booooo!).
And we are having our bathroom done at the moment so expect lots of pictures when its done!

As you can tell everything is up in the air at the moment.

So I’m sorry for being quiet!

But I am back now. And I’ll be trying to post more!

L xxx

P.s. I’VE LOST MORE WEIGHT! YAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSS! C’MON LANALLAMALANALOOOOOOOO

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About The Inconsiderate Cripple

Hi there, I'm the inconsiderate cripple. Welcome to the world through my eyes. I'm Lana, a 19 year old crazy person with chronic illness/disability living for the moment. my blogs a bit weird, a bit 'out there' and a bit well... me. Welcome and Hopefully - You'll stay with me on this journey!
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