“You had a what, where?”

*disclaimer* – this will be an honest and open post, so if you don’t want to hear about it, don’t read on! Simples!

Before you read this, its not exactly a positive post,and I don’t know if today was made worse because my weeks been quite bad but hey!

Hi everybody!

So as most of you know, I have recently seen a Urologist Doctor about my Pee problems.
Well, today (Yes, A SUNDAY!) I had my Cytoscopy!
For those that dont know what one is, It is basically a long flexible camera/telescope thing that gets inserted in your wee hole to check that theres nothing bad lurking there.

“You had a what, where?” Those were the words of my friend via text tonight when she asked me how my day went 😂

Before I carry on, I just want to thank everyone that messaged me good luck etc!

So, just to say AGAIN as a warning- I am going to be completley honest and open about how it was, and if you don’t want to know – then don’t read on!


I haven’t yet written a post about saturday nights events, so when I do, this will make more sense, but as My appointment was in the afternoon today, I spent this morning trying to recover and save my spoons!
I.e. I sat in my pjs, drinking as much water as possible (mainly for my POTS), eating food and watching Moulin Rouge!

I became more and more nervous, as the afternoon approached.

Then we arrived and they were running about an hour behind.
I pissed in a pisspot AGAIN, and sat down with Mumsie and FartFeatures.

Fast forward an hour, and I was taking by the nurse down to Room number 3 (Nats Number Again).

I chatted to the 2 nurses and the doctor- who were all amazing and I really cannot fault them! They put me at ease straight away!

In Pure LanaLoo fashion, I was laughing and joking with them, talking about my many health problems. Making jokes about cameras near my froufrou.

The thing itself was quite quick.

But bloody hell was it uncomfortable!

As most Zebras (EDS people) know, Locals dont really work with us. And unfortunatley this was the case again today. The gel did  nothing.

They didn’t find anything bad, and it was over and done with quite quickly, They helped me clean myself up, I got dressed, did more paperwork, had a laugh and chat with them and that was that.

I walked back down to my parents and off we went.

But, the more we walked, the more the pain started to hit me.

I got into the car – and even the vibrations got me! I sat with my headphones on, humming along to my loonyladys playlists (thats a long story in itself), and even that didn’t help with it!

When we arrived home, I literally felt like I was waddling! And then ofcourse, I felt like I needed to pee. So I downed water like no tomorrow, and attempted to go.

Oh my gandalfs was it painful! There was little droplets that came out but that was it. I sat there gripping  montgomery (My toilet frame) because YES it was that painful!
If I had to describe it I would say it was like barbed wire being dragged out of my bladder!

But it felt like I had a bladder full of pee!

Hours later I was distracting myself by shuffling about, sitting in more than one place, trying to keep my mind off it all.

Then I needed to pee again (and this time I knew I needed to pee)…

And this time I literally cried, and started singing that “rehearsal” song in moulin rouge thats done to the tune of the cancan!
Who knew peeing could be so bloody painful!!!

So my friends- that brings me to this moment. Where at 2340 on sunday evening,  laying in bed with a bladder that feels like its being electrocuted (and this is me just relaxing, imagine what its like when I’m peeing! F*ck sake!) writing this blog post.

“It’ll be fine” they said…
“It’ll only hurt for a few hours” they said…

So thats my experience of a cytoscopy!

Speak soon!

Love you all!

Lana xxx


About The Inconsiderate Cripple

Hi there, I'm the inconsiderate cripple. Welcome to the world through my eyes. Welcome and Hopefully - You'll stay with me on this journey!
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