I need to let some stuff out, so I apologise if I get a bit heated or if I upset anyone.
Even though I am pretty open about my illnesses, I hate showing how Ill I am. I try to hide it from you all as much as I can – mainly to protect you all, and sometimes its because I feel it makes me weak to tell you how I feel.
But – in all honesty? I am struggling to stay positive today. I’m having to deal with all my emotions and feelings in a very different way and its not made me feel better.
I just want this extra pain to stop. I’m in enough pain usually as it is, but at the moment… Everything is soooo hard!
I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I just want to be normal. I want to be able to get through the day without taking so many pain meds, I mean COME ON, I tske enough medication as it is!
I just want to go back to college. I just want to be doing normal things.
More than anything I want to be able to be the positive LanaLoo that I normally am, but today that seems impossible. Today I’m struggling.
Tomorrow, I’m hoping to be positive again.
I’ll try my best I promise.
I love you all