So, as the majority of people now know, Friday the 22nd was my last day at Collyer’s College. The reasons why? Unfortunately, My health deteriorating to the state it has led to me not being well enough to attend college and complete my courses, and although it’s the hardest decision I’ve had to make, I’ve decided that enough is enough, I have to put my health first, and I have to call it a day. If you know me well, you’ll know how hard this decision was for me. It shouldn’t have been this way, but unfortunately it’s the way it is, and there’s nothing anything or anyone can do to change it. It’s not the end though! I am going to be doing distance online learning courses (I started English Literature with Mental Health today!) and the dream to go to Uni still stands, it’s just on hold for now.
I stand by the saying You never know what is around the corner.
Because, lets face it, I never saw this coming.
In 2013, I started Collyers College for the first time. At this point, I was relatively normalish, I had like 2 chronic illnesses/conditions, but my mobility was pretty good, as was my attendance at first, and then EVERYTHING happened. My bestfriend died, My health deteriorated, I left.
I came back again in 2014, My health deteriorated big time, I did my AS’s (Which was a miracle now I think about it! How the bloody hell did I do those exams when I was that ill, and on the floor, and not get a U).
And now here we are, and I’ve left, but this time I’m not coming back.
I’m not – contrary to what has been said- Running away… Oh no, I am walking. Walking with my head held high, and with no regrets. Because at the end of the day, I had to make a decision, and it had to be the right one for me.
Last week was my first week “college free”- and it was dramatic, eventful, and just damn right shite.
However, this week is a new week, with new beginnings, I’ve started my new course today (I did my first ‘lesson’ in a hospital waiting room on my phone with dislocations and subluxations galore- In truly typical LanaLoo style.
Life is not perfect – but then life never is. Life is what you make it. AND I’M GOING TO MAKE IT ABSOLUTLEY FABULOUS… BECAUSE LETS FACE IT, I’M JUST CHRONICALLY FABULOUS DARLING ;).
Before I sign off, I have to say a huge thank you to those at Collyers that were behind me no matter what. An extra big thank you has to be said to all in Study Support, My tutor Helen (although She only had me for like under a month, her support etc was much appreciated, and I think she’s awesome), some of my teachers I’ve had throughout my time at collyers (yes Karen, I’m including you in this!), and of course the legend that is Sally Miller.
Sally helped me throughout some of the trickiest times to date, and ALWAYS knows exactly what to say to me, and how to kick my arse back into gear! (Dont worry Sally, you still get first dibs on my latest craft adventures!) I have a new list of targets and stuff on an upcoming blog post ( ILL SEND IT WHEN ITS DONE) – that’s still in play, although its bigger this time! Thank you for being amazing!
But again, the biggest thanks have to go to study support. A student told me the other week that they didn’t know study support existed before they met me, which is crazy, and proves my point that No one seems to realise exactly how amazing they all are down there. I cannot stress the importance of their support, Not just in terms of college work, but support on a much bigger scale. Without the support they gave me at my darkest time, I sometimes think I would’ve gone crazy. I definitely wouldn’t have made it through my AS levels without them, let alone through the months of A2 that I HAVE Managed. So thank you to Vicky, Annette, Araya, Tracy, Matt and Helen in Study Support! I LOVE YOU GUYS.
A HUGE thank you to the arseholes that are my Bestfriends ( YES I MEAN YOU< JACK ADAMS AND DANI LEATHAM, YOU TITS) I love you you turds. Thank you for sticking by me no matter what, It would’ve been so much easier for you both to walk away, but no, you stuck by me no matter what! So thank you, for everything and I’ll see you soon.
Huge thanks to those away from College that helped me figure out what the hell I needed to do! Yes Luna(Gillian), Uli, Mum, Dad, My sister Suzie, I mean you guys! I love you!
To be fair, I’m hoping to come visit in collyers at some point, so they haven’t quite seen the last of me yet!
For now, Its time to sort my life out, fight through the sh*t and put my health first.
A few weeks ago I thought that admitting defeat, telling people I can’t cope anymore and such was giving up and letting it win. I saw it as a weakness.
Now, I’ve realised that actually, to make a decision as big as this takes a huge amount of strength, as does putting myself first for once.
Onwards and upwards!
ITS SHOW TIME!
yippee ki yay mother f*ckers and all that jazz.
Sunshine/LanaLoo/Peppa is back once again…. Miss me?
I love you alllllllllllllllllllllllll!