I had so many plans for blogmas. But this month had other plans for me.
About a week or so ago, for the first time in YEARS I was really excited for Christmas.
I was determined to make it the best Christmas in years.
Christmas eve had a few hiccups in the day – but the evening was perfect. We went out for a meal as a family as planned, the six of us (Me, mum, dad, D, wendy, Gary). We had good food, drink, conversation and a bloody good time full of giggles. My body mainly behaved aside from my blood pressure playing up and my joints misbehaving (but that’s nothing new).
Christmas day arrived, I got up early, made a cheesecake, opened some presents, set up my new apple watch (thanks mum and dad!!!) and was having a bloody good time.
We had giggles and food and conversation flowed.
Then in the afternoon/evening we went to D’s house.
I was having a bloody good time, then my symptoms increased.
POTS was going mental, EDS was making my joints pop out more times than I could count.
A very long story short – I had a really awful, big and bad seizure at D’s house. – And although my beautiful family were lovely about it and VERY supportive- I still felt guilty, because its another reminder of how my illness affects E V E R Y aspect of my life.
I couldn’t even have a Christmas day without a seizure ballsing things up.
Don’t get me wrong – I had an amazing time with everyone.
I just really hate that my illness seems to take over everything. Even chrsitmas.
I seizure every single day, and have done for way over 18 months now, so i’m used to it. BUT I don’t often seizure in front of many people – so when I do seizure in front of them – even though theyre amazing, I still feel an incredible amount of guilt about it.
I’m still recovering from Christmas days bad seizures, so if I don’t reply to messages – please understand why.
I’m really lucky in that I have a very supportive family, and amazing friends around me – and I’m very thankful for you all.
Merry Christmas everyone.
I love you all