Today is the last day of 2016.
To be honest, at times this year I wasn’t quite sure what state I’d be in on the 31/12/16.
I cant say what happened in detail on here, but something huge happened relating to my health and a diagnosis this year that not many people in my life know about (I’ve only really recently started to tell people the full story). BECAUSE not many people know, Its not fair on those that don’t know, to write about it in detail and to be honest, I don’t really need to, you know the main events – you know ive been REALLY poorly this year.
This year has been challenging to say the least.
Its been a hard year.
Actually you know what. I’m going to be really blunt and honest.
Its been a shit year.
Its been terrifying.
I’ve been beyond ill.
I lost my mojo at one point.
I lost a little bit of my sparkle.
I pushed people away.
In one year, I left college. I got life changing news. I fell apart, not wanting to let people see what was going on…and my beautiful loved ones put me back together again. I made the most of every second that I was well enough to, and I made memories at every opportunity, for a reason. I also fractured my neck and various other bones, seizured too many times each and every day, Christ knows how often I ve dislocated my joints, I got dumped twice, ended up in hospital and in ambulances too many times, I’ve seen more of my medical team than I have my own family. I’ve had seizures where Ive come back round and found myself injured (the latest one was with a cup smashed in to my face (DONT ASK) – I’ve been to a tribunal court thing, I’ve had to fight every single second of every single day for various different things be it my health or something else, oh and I also got a mobility scooter THAT KEEPS BREAKING DOWN – but lets not talk about that right now.
Theres been tears – too many tears and theres been laughter too which is lucky because otherwise I might’ve lost the plot all together.
2016 has been a learning curve.
I’ve learnt who is truly there for me when I’m at my weakest times.
I’ve realised that things don’t always go the way you want them to – and although I learned this 4 years ago, I’ve finally realised that its not my fault, its not in my control, and theres nothing I can do apart from just ride it out.
I’ve learned to let go a bit more.
I know that pushing away the people that care about me most because I’m trying to protect them is not going to help anyone or anything, and theyre there for me whether I like it or not – and I’m forever in their debt ( you know who you all are)
I think the biggest lesson of 2016? Shit happens, it really does, but whats important is what you do with the shit that happens, and what you do ABOUT said shit.
I’ve no doubt that 2017 will be hard too- but you know what?
I have a good support network. I’m surrounded by love and help is there when I need it.
I would write a personal message to each of you that have been there for me, but I really don’t have the words. Aside from this:
Thank you for being amazing. Thank you for not abandoning me when it all went to shit. Thank you for not letting me push you away. Thank you for holding my hand physically or metaphorically when I needed it. Thank you for being a friend, and my rocks. Thank you for being my family (because you’re family to me now- whether were related or not). Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for not letting me give up. Thank you for supporting not only me, but my parents too.
I truly couldn’t have done it without you all. Thank you for all the cups of teas, visits, phonecalls, giggle moments, texts/whatsapps, facebook messages, facetimes/skypes, tweets in the middle of the nights, the letters,the emails, instagrams to cheer me up, spontaneous adventures on my good days, the coffee dates, all of that and the little things too- everything that kept me going at my worse moments.
Thank you for being you.
I love you. All of you.
Ok soppy shit over –
I have some goals for 2017.
1- Do more of my not gonna kick the bucket list,
2- TAKE MORE PICTURES! take pictures with everyone I can!!!!
3- BLOG MORE ! And enjoy the projects I’m going to be doing.
4- Go with the flow as what will be will be, Enjoy every single moment I can, Be happy
5- finish my diploma in English lit and lang, and start my OU degree
6- Write more of my book
7- VLOG! &Create more memories
8- Say I love you more to all the people in my life I love
9 – See family & Friends again that I haven’t seen for a while
10 – Be thankful as Whatever 2017 brings, I need to remember that every second of life is a miracle, and time is something denied to many.
Thank you all for being so patient with me this year, and for sticking it out and continuously reading my blog.
I love you all my beautiful readers.
Happy New Year! See you in 2017.
(also go check out my 2016 video! – linked here! it features just a few pictures from this year!) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YyNgf_YJjK0
Your Inconsiderate Cripple.