Letters to Natalie: Your Birthday, Music, and Christmas

*As always- if you want to read the other letters to nat, you can find them on the blog somewhere*

Dear NatNat,

Writing to you is becoming something I barely go a day without doing now. 90% of the time I just write them on my computer and never re-read them or do anything with them. But sometimes I put them on here. I’m not always sure why. Sometimes I feel like doing a whole separate blog just filled with letters to you, but then I have enough going on without having TWO blogs on the go!

I re-listened to some of the songs on one of our many playlists last night.

I had completley forgotten That Josh Groban “To where you are”  was on there.

And as soon as it played I couldnt help but smile. ” I feel you all around me
Your memory’s so clear “.   Its so frigging true.

Josh grobans music is always beautiful. But when I listen to certain songs that you made me add to our playlists, well it just makes them that much more special.

I’ve gone pinkyred and purple again (my hair not my skin, I’m not holding my breath whilst typing or anything stupid) – Its B R I G H T. You’d  love it.

It was no secret that you loved christmas. You’d have been so pissed off with me this year though. We didn’t have a tree this year. BUT we did decorate PisscillaPriscilla (my commode) with tinsel, so surely that counts for something?!!

Today would’ve been your 38th Birthday.  Happy Birthday My beautiful Bestfriend.


Its so weird to think in a few days 2017 will be over. And then we go in to 2018, a year that I’m actually excited for.

I started writing my yearly post of reflection, and I couldnt help but think about what you’d be saying about my appalling grammar skills. It took me back to the times I’d sit next to you and you’d wack my hand away from my keyboard and point at the screen and go “ERRRRM” at whatever bit of coursework was in front of me.

Writing this years reflection, I write a bit about making the most of every moment.
That’s something I can hand on heart say we did. The time we had together was not long, but we made memories constantly. Even toward the end. And for that I’m grateful.

Someone asked me the over day who you were (whilst pointing to my necklace). And everytime I get asked that I can’t help but smile as I say “Natalie. My BestFriend.” Then if they ask more questions, I tell them your story.

Now I’m 20, people dont seem to ask the question they used to. “But the age gap…?”. The age gap was nothing really. Because you  said I had an old soul, that I was actually an old granny in a 16 year olds body… and you were just you 😉

I can’t have an alcoholic beverage today. I havent had one in a while now.

But I’ll have one for you soon Nat.

No doubt you’re having a few up there.

I miss you.

I love you always.

Your LanaLoo.





About The Inconsiderate Cripple

Hi there, I'm the inconsiderate cripple. Welcome to the world through my eyes. Welcome and Hopefully - You'll stay with me on this journey!
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